Love is but a bitter poison
by Dom the Fantabulous
Summary: The Ratings a just in case for the moment... An angsty thing about Eowyn loving Aragorn... read and review!
1. Default Chapter

Retrieving my sword from the wooden chest it had so long been confined in, my face softened as I unsheathed it, looking upon its beauty. Placing a hand on the edge of the blade, I made a few swift about-faces, then brandished it as though I battled as though with an invisible adversary. If there was to be a war, I would be ready. I would fight for a victory for Rohan, or die trying. With one swift motion, I turned and brought my sword down, expecting to be met once more with thin air, the nothingness I had been 'fighting' before.  
I know my eyes widened in surprise as the clanging sound of my blade meeting yours echoed through the hall that had previously been unoccupied, save my own self. Blinking once or twice, I looked into your eyes, readying a biting comment. But it never came. for once in my life, words failed me. Staring into your eyes, Lord Aragorn, I suddenly found myself at a loss for words, my heart skipped a beat, and I drew in breath with a sharp intake.  
"You've skill with a blade." You gave a nod of his head, and I regained my composure, swinging my arm in a circular motion so our swords were no longer crossed. Turning on my heel, I walked a few paces across the room before replying.  
"Women of this country learned long ago those without swords could still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain." I bragged not, nor did I exaggerate. I merely stated the truth with the calm of someone commenting on the weather. Death and pain were inevitable; I had long ago accepted these self-evident truths. Your response caught me off guard once more.  
"What do you fear, milady?"  
What do I fear, Lord Aragorn? I fear my emotions. I fear the feelings I have when I look deeply into your eyes, when I watch you from afar, the quicken of my heart beat, and the lightheadedness I feel in your presence. I fear falling for you, a man I hardly know, or any man, and having my heart broken.I fear love.  
I paused a moment to consider his question before I formed a reply.  
"A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire." My voice was soft, but I knew he heard me as the trace of an emotion, too quick to catch, flickered across his face; usually so well guarded from showing the faintest suggestion. He took a moment to respond, as if choosing his words carefully.  
"You are a daughter of kings, a shield maiden of Rohan, I do not believe that will be your fate." With a small nod, you were gone, exiting the hall and leaving me alone once more, free to sort out this tangle of thoughts and emotions I was suddenly experiencing. Was I falling in love with you? I who scorned love so? Who scoffed at the mere thought, ridiculed it, and thought it a fanciful, unrealistic myth, believed only by naïve females, still ignorant in the true ways of the world? It wasn't possible. It just couldn't be!  
But it was, and I knew in my heart. I, Eowyn, niece of Theoden King, had fallen, and fallen hard. 


	2. Chapter Two

It was a while before I spoke to you again, Lord Aragorn, on the passing from Edoras. I know you were against fleeing to Helms Deep, I recall your words to my uncle clearly after he expressed his fear of war.

            _Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not._

The way you remained calm; the way you merely puffed on your pipe when he replied made my insides do flips.

            _When last I looked, Theoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan._

You seemed to sense there was to be no arguing with him, that he was as stubborn of a man as they came. Your calm indifference, though you disagreed… The only sign of emotion you showed was a quick flash of anger and irritation, immediately masked with a small nod of your head.

Most would have exploded, continued arguing, refused to help… but you did not. 

You aided us on the crossing, helping us lead the people towards the fortress, and you would help later in an even greater way.

I was a head of you… I remember it all so clearly, as if it were yesterday. I lead the dwarf's, Gimli they called him, horse, listening to his babble about dwarf women. I might have been able to concentrate had you not been there… but my thoughts were intoxicated with you, the ease with which you mounted your horse, the way you nobly sat atop your mount, laughing at the dwarf occasionally… Your face, your lips, your hair, your rugged, unshaven chin… my mind played with the thought of kissing those perfect lips, running my hands through your hair as your stubble tickled my face… oh how badly I wanted you, Lord Aragorn… yet I kept my thoughts hidden well.

_It's true you don't see many dwarf women… and in fact, they're so alike in voice and appearance that they're often mistaken for dwarf men._

Turning to cast you a small smile, I had to stifle a laugh at your next comment, and I know my eyes were dancing with as much amusement as yours were.

            _It's the beards._

Biting my lip to keep from laughing out loud, I turned back to face the front, knowing if I continued to look at you, if only for a moment, my resolve not to laugh would weaken and break.

            Fortunately, I managed to hold in my laughter until the dwarf said something that _he thought amusing, and I let it ring out, turning once more to look at you. You smiled, and I did also, laughing silently at the secret joke only you and I held. Our eyes danced with amusement, and for a moment, if only a moment, I thought I saw my feelings reciprocated in your eyes. … But it was gone in a moment._

That was the moment Gimli's horse took off at a gallop, tossing him to the ground where he did an odd sort of roll. I laughed once, then stopped, rushing forward to make sure he was alright. He was.

It was when I turned to glance at you again that I felt it once more, stronger than before…

The feelings I had felt for you the day I first saw you… was it only two days ago? The yearning to hold you, to kiss you, to call you my beloved… I felt these things rise to the surface like bubbles, and I had to turn my eyes away to keep from doing or saying anything stupid. Did I love you? Why were my feelings playing tricks on me? Had I not always held control of my own emotions, a feat of which I was immensely proud? These feelings were quite new to me, and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks.

We spent the rest of the evening sharing glances and smiles, along with the occasional bit of laughter.

_            Where is she? The woman who gave you that jewel?_

I immediately wished I had not asked… a shadow passed over your attractive face, and you did not answer for a moment… But I had asked, and I yearned to know where your heart lay.

            _My lord?___

_She is sailing to the undying lands with all that is left of her kin._

I said naught, though secretly, I was somewhat glad. Not for your loss… no. It did not please me to see you in pain, my Lord… But it would have broken my heart to know that your heart belonged to another, another who was waiting for your safe return.

The awkward silence was broken as Uruk-Hai fell upon us and we were forced to go our separate ways, you riding valiantly into battle, I helping herd the people to safety. How I longed to be at your side, beside you, slaying the beasts that for too long had plagued my country… But I was not.


	3. Chapter Three

I was never more anxious in my life than when I waited at the fort, pacing as I awaited your safe arrival, waiting for you to return to me… I know now you were never mine, that our relationship in your eyes was never anything more than platonic. But I was foolish then; my thoughts were filled with silly notions of true love… I realize now that I was nothing more than a fool… a fool for believing I could ever mean anything to you. 

I nearly stormed the men when they returned, and, after a conversation with my uncle I hardly remember…

            _My lady…_

It was not the voice I longed to hear… it was not you who spoke the words. Almost in a daze, I managed words, though they sounded foreign even in my own mind. 

            _Lord Aragorn. Where is he?_

The voice was not my own, it was the sound of a woman barely managing to speak, choking on her own words. I almost wished I had not asked, and I dared not hope for good news…

            _He fell._

The words hit like a ton of bricks, resounding in my head in slow motion…

_            He fell… he fell… he fell… he fell… he fell… Lord Aragorn. Where is he? He fell… he fell… he fell…_

I sank to the floor, unnoticed by all, barely audible sobs escaping my lips. I was not the only one crying, others; women, hugging their children, mourning their husbands, fathers, brothers, who had not returned. But my loss was greater; none were as heartbroken as I in that moment. Such distress I had never felt in my life, and for a vague moment I considered ending it all right then… But, no… I was braver than that. I am braver than that. I, Eowyn, niece of Theoden, King of Rohan, am a daughter of kings… I am strong. 

How long I sat there, miserable, feeling as if I could not breathe, could not stand, I do not know… all I know is the feelings I felt for you, Lord Aragorn, and how hard it was for me to know that all hope was lost, and that I would never see you again.

My own mind was cruel to me, images of you're the one thing I did not want to see or think about flashing through my brain... Had you been slain by one of the uruk-hai's swords? May haps you were knocked off your horse, and, reaching for your sword, it had happened? What were your final thoughts? Had you thought of me? Or of your Elvin lover who had sailed to the west. Had it been my name you called out in your last moments? Had you thought of me…? 

Such anguish I had never felt, and I pray I shall never have to feel again. I mourned for you, Lord Aragorn, in silence, a silent torment, not daring reveal my thoughts to anyone, as I had never mourned for another.


End file.
